Why are you here?

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." 

~Proverbs 31:8 & 9~

Papi Tan Maravilloso,

I just completed my first week of orientation as at the government hospital,  Queen Elizabeth Central, in Blantyre, Malawi.... A lot to take in for an international nurse... I'm exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally and the one question I was met with over and over again was, "Why are are you here?" "Why did you choose to come to Malawi, one of the poorest nations in the world (when so many Malawian physicians/nurses/health care workers would jump at the chance at leaving to work in the U.S. or U.K. and not return!)?"   If anyone asked me that perhaps before I came or when I arrived, I'd come up with a very politically correct and spiritual answer of what it means for a Christian, a woman, a person of color, etc.  For instance, Matthew 28:18 & 19 commissions all those claiming to be Gods followers to be active participants in the plan of salvation.  Christ doesn't say, "Go... when you've got at least 2 years of experience behind your belt" or "Go... when all your 'finances' are in order (when you think about it, it will never be how we'd like it...10, 20, 30 years later, we're singing the same song!)" He simply says, "Go!" Our job is to obey and have faith that He'll take care of the rest (I can testify!!!).  

As a woman, living in a culture that in many ways is patriarchal, where less than half the female population is literate (http://www.theodora.com/wfbcurrent/malawi/malawi_people.html), I have the rare opportunity of empowering Malawian women to dream big and pursue higher education (many times this can be a challenge due to poverty).  It's a rare thing for them to see to see women educated women, let alone with two bachelors degrees and working independently by choice.  I can also mentor young girls and women to be assertive.  Many are victims of sexual abuse, because they're too afraid to say, "no".

As a black American... well... I can just say there even FEWER in this category. Out of the 20 or so Adventist missionaries in Malawi, I only know of two African-Americans... that includes me.  I am not trying to say that we should ship all the volunteers with African ancestry to the Mother Land.  It's only that there are too few of us volunteering internationally, period! Since, most of the volunteers are from Europe or from North America and Caucasian, I can't count the number of times I've been called "Mazungu (Chichewa/Swahili for White person)"  based on association (some have never seen a black American before)... and we can't continue to solely blame "The Man" or lack of opportunity. I've met several well educated, affluent,  black, Seventh-day Adventist Christian Americans who'll travel to Europe or the Caribbean for vacation, but won't step on the African continent (though they'll send their money) because they deem it "unstable".  However, it means a lot to see people who look like them coming to help (most have skewed, and sometimes negative,  stereotypes of African-Americans based on pop culture).  

But, the question remains, why did I come to Malawi?  Why did I come to a country with so few resources? Just working in the high dependency unit (HDU= special care unit/like a step down ICU), the other day,  I felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of patients, lack of professionally trained man power, and lack of resources.  I've seem images and clips of over crowded hospitals in Haiti or Lybia on CNN or NPR and I'm like, "I wish I could help save lives!" Well... I'm here and it's no joke! For instance, there's one nurse  (me) assigned to care for 6 patients... that may not seem like a lot. However, when you consider that you have one patient diagnosed (Dx) with diabetic ketoacidosis (with no sight of a glucose monitor!), one patient with a GCS of 7 (Dx. ocular cellulitis.... mind you, EVERYONE is all the SAME room... can you say "Isolation!!!") and another with a GCS of 4 (Dx with TB meningitis secondary to AIDS...she died on my watch), then an admit with a pulmonary embolism (now deceased), and two CVA patients (one in which who's vital signs are showing signs of possible hemorrhage )... not to mention the shortage of doctors who are mostly unavailable... you get my point!

Soooo, again, "Why did you come to Malawi?" if it seems impossible to "save" people or, that your hard work, your American nursing training, astuteness, documenting, open communication with doctors/nurses, and advocating seems to not matter to the point where a patient dies... "How do you think you're going to make a difference???" The truth is, if I came here simply to "save" Malawi I'd get burned out quick! I know I'm here in Malawi for a Divine purpose. God has placed me in Blantyre to  introduce those patients to Christ and remind families, in stressful times, of His eternal love; spiritual healing is the only thing that  is  forever.  Yes, I could have been a nurse in the U.S. and done similar ministry but, honestly, I'm happy and loving what I'm doing and the best place to be is in the Lords will.  I have always had a passion for global missions and now that I'm here, fulfilling one of my life-long dreams (I'd like to one day establish my own rural clinic overseas and have my own non-profit), I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

Perhaps, I may never see the fruits of my labor here on earth.  However, I long for the day Christ says, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things.... Come share your masters' happiness!" (Matthew 25:23)

~Joya~

Double rainbow on the way to Blantyre

Arrival

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

 ~ Jeremiah 29:11~

Leaving JFK on South African Airways

Papi Tan Maravilloso,

It's been a week since I've arrived in Blantyre, Malawi and the anticipation/expectation is monumental! Besides trying to physically adjust from the obvious jet lag, I spent this past week orienting myself with my future colleagues at Blantyre Adventist Hospital (BAH); soaking in the monsoon of information regarding BAH's history, issues, and needs; trying to get settled into my flat/home; welcoming in the new year; and maneuvering around the city; and swallowing in the fact that I'm officially a medical mission nurse!!!

Blantyre (Mandala), itself, is the second largest city in Malawi.  It's also the center of finance and commerce. Keeping this in mind, the majority of the clientele for BAH come from this bracket; meaning that BAH (a private hospital) services the upper middle class and wealthy (there is a HUGE gap between the poor and rich, as with all developing countries).  This small, 82 bed hospital also provides services to a smorgasbord ethnicity's and religions (with that said, there's a very large Muslim population).  It's equip with functioning adult ICU, cardiology department, OB/Gyn department, theater (operating room), out patient department, ED & ambulance, oncology department, lab, radiology department, etc. 

With all that BAH offers (it's one of the best hospitals in the nation), it's easy to think, "... what EXACTLY am I needed for again???"  However, there are plenty of opportunities for growth, improvement, and learning, on both parts.  I am certain that You have brought me to Malawi/BAH for a divine purpose.  My only prayer is that I do not disappoint You.

Tu hijita,

Joya

The tarmac at Chileka International Airport in Blantyre
I prohibited from taking pictures of the actual airport...

Malawian countryside 

The city of Blantyre

Ticket...FINALLY!!!

"And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in do time we shall reap if we do not grow weary." 

~Galatians 6:9~

Papi Tan Maravilloso,

According to the Mayan calendar, the world should have ended today :-) (regardless, we [I] should always be ready, for you are coming soon!).  However, Your mercy/Word/grace allowed an additional day to get our act together :-)

Exactly one week from yesterday, I'll be finally on a plane to Blantyre, Malawi!!! I can't say that I've always been patient or trusting, nor can I say the road easy, but I can say that You're faithful; You've been leading me all the way.

This week, especially, has been full of uncertainty.  Being that it was the last week before the school closed for the Christmas & New Year holiday, I was unsure if I would be able to get everything I needed to get done before the deadline or have to wait until after January 2! I needed to be financially cleared, get my BS diploma and transcript, ticket, TEP, and health insurance card all before the week ended!

To make a long story short, stuff happens when you show up in person (of course Your Holy Spirit being the main entity)!  When, it looked bleak with all the running around and discouraging small talk, You worked a miracle and parted the Red Sea!

So what happens now? In less than a weeks time, I'll be on a plane heading to someone's hospital; caring for patients.  It's easy to become nervous and scream, "WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?!?!?", or, to think, "Am I really cut out for the job?... I hope I don't harm/kill any of my patients!"  (Though I've excelled academically,  I'm a brand-new nurse!) But, again, like my devotion on Prophet Elijah, You're not the kind of person who leave's His children hanging, especially when You've called them to a specific work.  You've made it more than clear that Malawi's exactly where I need to be. I am called. I pinch myself thinking that about to embark to fulfill one of my life-long goals in becoming a medical missionary!

I don't know what the future holds.  I can only see what's in front of me.  I am Jewel.  I am soon to be a volunteer mission nurse at Blantyre Adventist Hospital.  I am 20-something *clear throat*, single, no children, with desires to someday own my own rural clinic, have a non-profit, and travel the globe. I am very much interested in international/global health issues... so, when it comes to getting my maters, I don't know... something that encompasses women, infant's, and children, with a special emphasis on HIV/AIDS education/prevention....

There's a lot! As they say, "The world is my oyster!" Until next time!

Tu hijita,

Joya

Be Thou My Vision

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." 

~Isaiah 26:3~

Papi Tan Maravilloso,

It's Saturday, December 1, my latest departure date and still no ticket!  Since flights only leave out to Malawi one day a week, my next best bet is next week, but I doubt it.  Another hurdle to cross  before I can get the clear to leave.  First it was the TEP, then the loan situation, and now my BS transcripts/diploma and loan situation (On Wednesday I had to run around getting the documents I had notarized (though I know I already did that in June... -_-)! I owe the school over $8,000 and if I don't pay up, no releasing of my transcripts and degree, no ticket, no work!  

It's easy to focus on another hurdle and become frustrated and upset.  My bags/bins are packed, I have all my shots, anti-malaria pills and I've said my good-bye's... now I just want closer!!! There are times I feel that the knowledge I learned months ago is gone and will become useless when I start taking care of my own patients.  The other day one of my friends mentioned she was taking care of little baby diagnosed with Hirschsprung’s disease (congenital megacolon).  I recognized the name but had forgotten what it was (Hirshsprung's affects the large intestine and causes problems with passing stool. It's present when a baby is born and results from missing nerve cells in the muscles of a portion of the baby's colon)!  

However, all things happen for a reason.  I've done my part. I humbly ask that you help me to keep my eyes focused on You.  I remember jotting down all the miracles that I'd need to happen BEFORE I leave on this year-long adventure.  You've blessed me that all, except one, has come to pass; and that's my school bill.  So, perhaps, this is the reason for the delay.  You're just making sure that I have all my ducks in a row, because in Your infinite wisdom, leaving before all is finalized (though I was given the go ahead) will be troublesome to handle while in Malawi... it makes since :)  I am also sure that there are other things You're preparing in me and for me while I wait... patiently.  May You be my focus and vision, for I know You are leading me and You have called me to this special work in Blantyre.  

Tu hijita,

Joya  

Friendship

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"

~Ecclesiastes 4:9 & 10~

My best friend Shannin & I

Papi Tan Maravilloso,

I feel very blessed to have such wonderful friends.  I had my "Good-bye" celebration in light of my upcoming mission to Malawi and a good number of people attended (my NAPS/YOD 2.5 family, nursing buddies, Bible study crews, and Del Rosa church family). The food was amazing and venue fabulous, thanks to Dr. Hunt & Dr. Holness.  Considering that I will be away from many of the international cuisine I'm used to in America (Thai, Caribbean, Italian, etc.), the them was "International potluck".  Thank to the cooks, we had an assortment of dishes like enchiladas, rice and peas, chana masala, delicious pasta with tomato sauce from scratch (and yes, a man threw down ;) , and much more!  And who can forget dessert (and that's why I keep my freshman 15!).   I just wish I had bigger stomach with the cheese cake, chocolate cake, pumpkin and apple pie ;-)

Sadly, I was surprised at the turn out, though not in a negative way.  I can be very hard on myself and "I" focused that I forget about the awesome team you surrounded me with; my friends.  They have encouraged me, prayed for me, and even sacrificed their own means to support me over the years.  Some I've know for over 10 years and some for just 6 months, yet it's hard to say good-bye to people who mean so much. I can't imagine going on this journey without them.  They are human reminders Your grace and extensions of Your love.

Thank you.

Tu hijita,

Joya

My Bible study group & roommate/good friend, Taoshin (far rt.)

My other Bible study group & nursing friends

Andrew & Jennifer my Botswana pharm buddies

Amen & I:  good times :)

Morgan & Vanessa: YOD 5 family

Shannin & Minty... Watch out!!! :)

Elizabeth Coleman, my study-buddy & friend who helped me  pass nursing school.  Eternally grateful :)

From the beginning, Liz & I in our 2nd quarter of nursing school

What Liz, Johnny & I love to do most!!! :-P

Love these girls!

My sweet Dipti :)

Rhonda, Dipti, & I in Botswana :)

Del Rosa lady volunteers: Jasmine, Michelle, Chigo, Morgan,  Kendra & I... potlucks are ALWAYS fun/lively ;)

Vanessa, Clint, Cisco, Minty & I: YOD 2 & 5 (2.5) :)

Still Waiting

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." ~Psalm 27:14~

Papi Tan Maravilloso,

 

Waiting seems like it's always the hard part, especially when you just want closure.  You just want answers so you can just move on. Wait, you say. Wait.  Wait, to get that dream car.  Wait, to return to school. Wait, to get that dream job  and start that dream career. Wait, to move into your dream house. Wait, to marry and start a family. Wait, wait, wait!

I am waiting; waiting to begin this journey You've led me to in Malawi.  I am trying to be patient, but a small part of me can't help but feel anxious.  Feeling as though all the knowledge I've gained in nursing school has been lost.  I look at my fellow classmates, who have been working since July! And me... I'm waiting. I waited for mid September.  Then I waited for late October and early November. Now I wait for December 1...

But, Papi, You point out all those blessings I would have missed out on if I didn't wait.  Through waiting, I've seen my the faith of my family grow.  I traveled to several different countries and innumerable cities throughout the US spreading messages of hope and helping those in need. I've created friendships all over the world.  I was blessed with a brand new car. I discovered my calling and passion.  Good things DO come to those who wait!

So, I wait and put my hope and trust in You.

 

Tu hijita,

 

Joya

Moving Out

"...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." ~Matt. 28:20~

Papi Tan Maravilloso,

I officially moved out of my apartment on Stewart street at 6:15 pm.  I packed up the rest my belongings, lodded them in my Honda Insight (or sold them or gave them away), and headed to a dear friends house.  I've made so many memories living in southern California over these past two years.  There were times when I didn't know how I was going to pay the rent (especially the first year when I lived alone!), but you provided every month.  It seemed like the lack of money was ALWAYS an issue.  Now that I had the money for the rent, would I have enough to cover utilities and food? What about gas?  Then there was finding money for books and school supplies.  How could I properly prepare for my school work without money for books?  Was I crazy for moving into a place I could barely afford (honestly, all of California's like that, no matter where you live :)?  Was I wrong to move apply and go to school at Loma Linda when I was struggling so much?  Then You'd remind me that it was Your hand that led me hear and that You'd take care of me. "...My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:19). And Father, you continue to do so.

Before: My old room. Nothing's changed... you get the point :)

After

I said, "Good bye" to my roommate Taoshin (I got a little emotional.  It was a fun year... she a good friend thoughout the years).  You brought me to Loma Linda to study nursing and you blessed me with this apartment and much more. I know that this is just one more step closer to fulfilling the will You have for my life.

                                   The dinning room