Why are you here?

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." 

~Proverbs 31:8 & 9~

Papi Tan Maravilloso,

I just completed my first week of orientation as at the government hospital,  Queen Elizabeth Central, in Blantyre, Malawi.... A lot to take in for an international nurse... I'm exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally and the one question I was met with over and over again was, "Why are are you here?" "Why did you choose to come to Malawi, one of the poorest nations in the world (when so many Malawian physicians/nurses/health care workers would jump at the chance at leaving to work in the U.S. or U.K. and not return!)?"   If anyone asked me that perhaps before I came or when I arrived, I'd come up with a very politically correct and spiritual answer of what it means for a Christian, a woman, a person of color, etc.  For instance, Matthew 28:18 & 19 commissions all those claiming to be Gods followers to be active participants in the plan of salvation.  Christ doesn't say, "Go... when you've got at least 2 years of experience behind your belt" or "Go... when all your 'finances' are in order (when you think about it, it will never be how we'd like it...10, 20, 30 years later, we're singing the same song!)" He simply says, "Go!" Our job is to obey and have faith that He'll take care of the rest (I can testify!!!).  

As a woman, living in a culture that in many ways is patriarchal, where less than half the female population is literate (http://www.theodora.com/wfbcurrent/malawi/malawi_people.html), I have the rare opportunity of empowering Malawian women to dream big and pursue higher education (many times this can be a challenge due to poverty).  It's a rare thing for them to see to see women educated women, let alone with two bachelors degrees and working independently by choice.  I can also mentor young girls and women to be assertive.  Many are victims of sexual abuse, because they're too afraid to say, "no".

As a black American... well... I can just say there even FEWER in this category. Out of the 20 or so Adventist missionaries in Malawi, I only know of two African-Americans... that includes me.  I am not trying to say that we should ship all the volunteers with African ancestry to the Mother Land.  It's only that there are too few of us volunteering internationally, period! Since, most of the volunteers are from Europe or from North America and Caucasian, I can't count the number of times I've been called "Mazungu (Chichewa/Swahili for White person)"  based on association (some have never seen a black American before)... and we can't continue to solely blame "The Man" or lack of opportunity. I've met several well educated, affluent,  black, Seventh-day Adventist Christian Americans who'll travel to Europe or the Caribbean for vacation, but won't step on the African continent (though they'll send their money) because they deem it "unstable".  However, it means a lot to see people who look like them coming to help (most have skewed, and sometimes negative,  stereotypes of African-Americans based on pop culture).  

But, the question remains, why did I come to Malawi?  Why did I come to a country with so few resources? Just working in the high dependency unit (HDU= special care unit/like a step down ICU), the other day,  I felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of patients, lack of professionally trained man power, and lack of resources.  I've seem images and clips of over crowded hospitals in Haiti or Lybia on CNN or NPR and I'm like, "I wish I could help save lives!" Well... I'm here and it's no joke! For instance, there's one nurse  (me) assigned to care for 6 patients... that may not seem like a lot. However, when you consider that you have one patient diagnosed (Dx) with diabetic ketoacidosis (with no sight of a glucose monitor!), one patient with a GCS of 7 (Dx. ocular cellulitis.... mind you, EVERYONE is all the SAME room... can you say "Isolation!!!") and another with a GCS of 4 (Dx with TB meningitis secondary to AIDS...she died on my watch), then an admit with a pulmonary embolism (now deceased), and two CVA patients (one in which who's vital signs are showing signs of possible hemorrhage )... not to mention the shortage of doctors who are mostly unavailable... you get my point!

Soooo, again, "Why did you come to Malawi?" if it seems impossible to "save" people or, that your hard work, your American nursing training, astuteness, documenting, open communication with doctors/nurses, and advocating seems to not matter to the point where a patient dies... "How do you think you're going to make a difference???" The truth is, if I came here simply to "save" Malawi I'd get burned out quick! I know I'm here in Malawi for a Divine purpose. God has placed me in Blantyre to  introduce those patients to Christ and remind families, in stressful times, of His eternal love; spiritual healing is the only thing that  is  forever.  Yes, I could have been a nurse in the U.S. and done similar ministry but, honestly, I'm happy and loving what I'm doing and the best place to be is in the Lords will.  I have always had a passion for global missions and now that I'm here, fulfilling one of my life-long dreams (I'd like to one day establish my own rural clinic overseas and have my own non-profit), I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

Perhaps, I may never see the fruits of my labor here on earth.  However, I long for the day Christ says, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things.... Come share your masters' happiness!" (Matthew 25:23)

~Joya~

Double rainbow on the way to Blantyre