“A great name among men is as
letters traced in sand, but a spotless character will endure to all eternity.”
~EGW, God’s Amazing Grace, p. 81~
I first met Goshen when she was
about 8 months old. She was admitted onto
the pediatric ward, from emergency, with a diagnosis of pneumonia due to pulmonary
hypertension and bad heart. She was
being breastfed at the time and the trick was to maneuver a way in which her
twin sister, Shiloh could also breastfeed, without getting sick herself. After about two weeks, Goshen was off oxygen
and fit enough to go home.
About six months later, our dear
Goshen, was back in the hospital for the same thing. She had been seeing the cardiologist, Dr.
Priester, for her heart condition and, along with Dr. Varona and her parents,
we were working on a way to have her see a pediatric cardiologist in South
Africa or India, for further assessment and possible treatment. Just like when she was admitted before, even though
there were no bilateral crackles in the chest or fevers, Goshen’s biggest issue
was weaning her off oxygen. Other than
that, she was pretty much a happy baby. You could walk into the room, find her
standing, talking, eating and playing and her oxygen saturation would be 50-60
percent (she’d manage to remover her nasal cannula)… her lips would give her
away (they’d be a little blue and dusky).
She learned to cope with her hypoxia. After about two and half to three
weeks, she was discharged.
A year had passed since I last
saw the spunky and energetic, Ms. Goshen.
I remember coming into work that Monday morning, receiving the report
and saying, “I know this little girl!” (Her name was too unique to forget and I
loved it!) Yet, this time, when she was admitted, she was worse. It seemed as if, she was not going to make it
through the night or at least before the week was out. Considering Goshen’s current condition,
medical history, and council from the pediatric cardiologist, Dr. Kennedy, even
Dr. Varona prepared the parents for the worst.
However, by Thursday, Goshen had improved drastically. By week three to four, after not seeing any
change in her ability to be weaned off oxygen, Dr. Varona decided that was most
likely an issue that was chronic and would not be easily remedied. Therefore, she’d
have to go home on oxygen.
Goshen faced other challenges, as
the days tarried. Her health seemed to
be on a see-saw; teetering up and down, over and over again. She’d develop fever or have to be on high
oxygen flow; not to mention, the fluid in her lungs or the wheezes never seemed
to really go away (it just wasn’t as much).
We used the maximum dosages of bronchodilators, vasodilators, medications
to decrease the pulmonary hypertension in the lungs, and increase the
contractility of the heart. We exhausted every option when it came to the
battling infections…
REGRETS
Sabbath morning (less than two weeks
ago), I had made an unannounced visit to the pediatric ward to see Goshen. I had baked some banana nut muffins,
accompanied by a homemade card. As I
entered room six and stood before the last bed near the window, I remember seeing
how happy she was. She was standing on
the bed, playing, while looking at the window, people watching. She seemed to be in her own little imaginary
world, content at being 2 ½ years old. I
said hello, played with her a bit, and had a word of prayer, and thanked God
for His goodness and Goshen’s will to live. She had beaten so many odds (That
day she was on 3.5 liters of oxygen, instead of the 13.5 I saw her on that Thursday).
I was happy. However, I felt as if the
Holy Spirit was prompting me to go ahead and take a picture with my little
friend, because I may not have another opportunity to do so.
I never took that photo.
Regret.
Goshen is gone today and all I
have are memories. I’m heartbroken. Yet,
I am grateful I was her nurse those almost 2 years ago and the same nurse before
she left this world 2 years later. I will
remember the good times and those funny and intimate quiet moments that she and
I shared. I will remember the times we smiled together, played together, and how
she finally saw me as her friend; someone she could trust.
It’s very difficult to write this
little memoir without crying. She had
such beautifully contagious spirit, that she affected the lives of all she came
in contact. From housekeep, to kitchen
staff; theatre, the hospital chaplain and orderlies; from nurses (old wing/new
wing/ICU), to lab technicians, doctors, and her fellow pediatric inmates J ; Goshen was our
longest staying patient. She made friends
with all and she will be greatly missed.
As I stood with Mrs. Chaputera,
transporting her tiny body to be sent to the College of Medicines mortuary, I
couldn’t help but notice all the love that surrounded this little girl. I had never seen so many people gather
outside to pay their final respects.
Parents of other children on the ward, who had a chance to befriend
Goshen, as well as nurses from other areas of the hospital. Goshen will be missed, but not
forgotten. I can’t wait for the day to
be reunited with her and others we’ve lost along the way in heaven. Death is but a sleep!
Even so, come Lord Jesus!
“A great name among men is as
letters traced in sand, but a spotless character will endure to all eternity.”
(EGW, God’s Amazing Grace, p. 81)
